what the?

I wish I had a handbook for my life, something to reassure me where I'm going and if I'm going to be okay. I feel as if I am going no where. Every single person in my life is having some life altering event happening, and I am just sitting here, trying to figure out my next move. School starts in the fall sure, but thats not exactly the type of adventure I really want to sink my feet into. Jason is what I want. My boyfriend hundreds of miles away, and I feel as though all I am is a big ball of panic. (I have just got to be worring him with all the stuff I'm stressing about hahaha.) I dont know what to do or where to go from here. I wish Jason could just notice that I am just so willing to give him everything I am possibly am. Actually, I am sure he does know it, I just wish that it would hit him a little closer to home. I wish he was here. I would give up everything I have to just have him here... and he hasnt even been gone a week yet. Thats horrible. Its just so hard to function with half of you missing! I know that all of you girls with your significant other know exactly what I'm talking about. Mmhmm. I knew you did. Sheesh this is going to be a long summer. On the up side of things, Nicole is PREGNANT! And Waylon and Melissa are engaged, and Buckley is going on a mission!! See where I feel as though I am not getting anything accomplished? haha sorry for all the blah blah blah but writing always makes we feel just a tiny bit better. XOXO