VENTING. SORRY. I NEED IT. BAD.

Well, Presha you taught me that when I'm frustrated to write, and this is kinda the same concept. Okay, not going to lie, I want that boy to marry me already! I know I'm 18, and we wont end up getting married for quite a while but let me tell you, it still just sucks just wanting to be with someone completely in like every way all the time and you can't. Its... stressful. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like he will never ask me. Which I know is irrational, but just because it is doesn't mean feeling like this is avoidable. I wish it were because I know he will. I know he wants to. I know that if we got married right now things would be just a mess, and that freaks him out so much. Why doesn't it scare me? I feel like having a mess of a life would be okay as long as he is there. I just feel like I'm going nowhere. I want to progress, move forward with my life, get the best part started. I feel so behind. IRRATIONAL! Why do I feel this way when I know its absurd?! Why do I have to be so impatient! Because I just love him so much! Its a very insecure, rickety feeling. I think thats why I'm just in a hurry. I want to feel stable and he seems to be one of the very few things in my life that is constant. I don't want to loose that. He really loves me, and I really love him. That will be enough forever, thats what helps me get over all this, just knowing that he is there with me, freaking out right by my side ha ha. Sorry for the ventilation session! I feel much better now. :)

blast from the past!

So, the woman that cut my hair recently, I grew up with! Like when I say grew up with I mean from the time I was 3 to 6 we did everything together! She is 12 years older than me but I just love her the same! She used to cut my hair for me and today I got on facebook and she had found a picture of me when I was 6 with the same hair cut I had gotten from her just a little over a week ago! I love it too! Awe to be little and clueless again! :)

First hair cut in 7 years and Im in love!

I chopped my hair off today, all I needed was a little positive push and I just went for it! I have been talking about cutting it off for like 3 years now and I finally did it! I LOVE it! I couldnt be happier! I cant believe it all gone! I keep reaching to pull it to the side and it just isnt there haha it is so worth it! I feel much older now haha. Plus I really needed a change!

Quite the ride.

Well, I slept horribly last night. I woke up every 10 minutes. (I'm not exaggerating this time Presh!) When I woke up I was so exhausted. Melissa called me asking me to go shopping with her for her new work clothes, so we met up.  When I got to her house I was starting to have a really really bad stomach ache and as we were driving to Draper it was just getting worse until all of a sudden I was yelling at Melissa! "Mel pull over! Pull over right now!!" The second the car stopped and the door opened I was throwing up. I didn't eat this morning either so I still don't understand why it was so much. Sorry if I'm grossing you out. It was just a crazy experience. Yesterday I barely had a cold. Now, I have a horrible cold and the flu. Whats next?! 

Actual fever.

Boo. My mom and I both just got this funky virus. I have had a fever for the past 3 days and she has just been in bed all day! I swear I just got over this stupid little illness less then a month ago. Maybe its because I changed everything that I have been eating lately. (No breads, mainly veggies and fruits. Very little meat.) My body is probably just freaking out. This sucks though. I swear I'm always sick with something. Ever since I was little! Its getting old! I tell you as soon as I marry Jason and have health insurance I am going in for a FULL check up! I hope I don't get Jason sick! He works nights as a security guard for SLC and Park City. I think I got it from Jackson and Konnor when I babysat for Jessica and Justin's anniversary! That's it! I got it from the babies! Awe:( I think what sucks the most about getting sick is that it really interferes with work! Its hard to word when you feel like crap. Well, that's all for now. XOXO