Jasons GONE HUNTIN..so...

HAHA! I just read my last post. Jason cant wait any longer to get married? PUHLEASE! Yeah right. BOY was I wrong about that. But let me tell you something. If I am not engaged by Christmas, I am going to loose it!!  Ha. Well, its seems to me that when Jason is out of town I really just get to thinking a lot. (Too much extra time on my hands now.) I have a really hard time saying what I am thinking out loud so I am hoping this makes more sense then me just talking ha!  I just cant believe how much I really do love him. Sheesh that man has no idea either.  Okay, maybe he knows a little :) But its just crazy how much love you can harbor for just one individual. I never want to loose that. I can be so stubborn and selfish sometimes and that really doesn't help in relationships at all! I have just the easiest time just saying, sure whatever, it will all work out. I wish I had the talent of verbal communication. Poor Jason is always guessing what Im thinking. I am sure emotional too. But strangely simple, SO ITS ALL COMPLICATED! Poor guy. Men will never understand women. We dont even understand ourselves. I am learning though, Haha but hey! I am sure he will catch on one day. He chose me:) Sucker;) JK.     He really is the one that I want to spend forever with. I cant wait to start that new part of our life together. One day soon ;) In general conference today a woman talked to husbands on how to raise little girls and you know what the one thing that she kept saying? "Make sure they know how much you love their mother." "Love their mother always." I just cant stop thinking about how different things might have been. Oh well, no use dwelling on what ifs. I am look straight at my future. Square in the eye.  Im not scared of the sacrifices, or the trials, or having to do it alone. I am scared that I wont be able to savor every single second that I have with him, or kids, our grand babies, our families. I am forever going to need to remind myself to slow down. Heres to trying.

Promotion!

I got promoted to a full time employee today! I have only worked there for 3 months and when I told them that I got a second job they told me that they didnt want to loose me so now I work from 9:00 to 5:00 everyday! ROCK ON!! :) I am so excited! Jason is super excited too! He is number 3 in the ENTIRE COMPANY for technicians!! I am so proud of him!! We are just rocking it in the work department! And the love department! HAHAHA :) He comes home in 9 days!!!! Can you believe it!? We made it another summer!! I am so excited!! Next stop marraige! Haha Jason would kill me if he read that part hahaha which is why I put it! Because you just watch! I am going to be SO RIGHT!!! He loves me wayyy to much to wait anymore! :))

Birthday Crisis.

Haha YES. Not knowing what I want for my birthday is a crisis! My family hasnt really had money for birthday presents the past few years so I have just gotten used to having fun at home with the family with a cheesecake on my birthday! YUM! :) But Jason has other ideas of how birthdays should be and when I told him I couldnt think of anything he told me.. "Anything in the world and you cant think of something? Come on. Make me a list and I will choose what I will get you." BAH! I cant even think of one thing! All I can think of is "LAME" stuff like a new windshield or bedding! Haha I would LOVE a new comforter but all the ones I keep finding are way more expensive then I would ever spend on one thing! Haha Oh Dear. I am in a world or trouble. I am completely stumped. I want this comforter from etsy, but its WAY too expensive. Maybe I could ask for some shoes or something! Haha now I just have to find the shoes! HELP!

Isnt it just Beautiful!? Too expensive though. I could try to make it! 

perfection.

Today started out as a day where I was just in a bad mood. But as the evening came around I went to Jason's dads home for dinner. All by myself. I was so worried that it would be awkward when I got there because he wasn't there with me but I had an absolute blast! I love his family so much. I cant wait to be apart of it. I felt like I already was a piece of their puzzle. I cant even begin to describe how blessed I feel to have such an amazing family to be apart of. I love them all so much. I have Jason all to myself forever and I get to enjoy him for the rest of my life with his amazing family. I certainly don't feel like I could ever deserve so much, but I will take it! I will take it now and forever. :) I cant wait to be a Horton.

Update.

Well, I know I haven't written in a while but what can I say? Life happens. I have been really busy lately. Helping Melissa find a wedding dress (which is still a work in progress.), working, hanging out with Katie and Dave, TRYING to convince Jason that he should marry me tomorrow haha just kidding (but soon would be nice.). Etc. Etc. Haha so far progress with that isn't really moving hahaha as far as I know. I really just feel like I cant catch a break. In so many ways I LOVE that I am so busy. In others that little girl is just screaming for me to let her out to play all day long. Let me tell you a secret. I don't let her out. haha often :) As far as this last 4th of July weekend. It was a blast. Although there is always on thing missing. Jason. The family and friends all went down to Thanksgiving Point and watched the fireworks. Like we have been doing for the past like...10 years haha it was super fun. As for tonight. I am just having one of those nights where a good blogging session will take care of all my anxiety and frustration. I know, I know. I use this blogspot to rant and rave but whatever. It makes me feel tons better while Jason is gone. I know that all of you can sympathize. I feel like I could just go for a run right now and be perfectly content with not stopping. I would actually love to go on a run. I love the endorphins!  Gym Monday! Oh yeah! Ha well I'm off! xoxo

money, money, money. must be funny in a rich mans world.

I wish I could have a job that pays more money that I loved like I love my job at Kid to Kid. I love that job so much but it just doesn't pay enough. Jason is really worried about how we will be money wise when we get married and its really hard because I know how to save and I want to... but with a job where I make 7.25 an hour its really hard. I have never worked for so little, but I just love this job. I am so good at it and I enjoy it. I have so much fun there...and I work my butt off everyday! Why cant it be both? I feel like I need to find a job that pays more but I will probably hate it which sucks. I want to have money saved but it feels like I cant have both... I feel like I might have to give up this job that I love so much :(  I wish I had a better solution. This sucks. If you have any input please share because I'm completely torn.. I don't want to give this up. If anyone knows of any night shifts I could take at ANY job after 9:00 every night or any job that pays well for that matter.. please let me know. I need Jason to feel secure about this. I want to marry him as soon as I can but I cant do that only making 7.25 an hour... please help me out.

Girls Night Out! :))

So yesterday I worked from 9:30 - 5:00 and I went straight to Katies right after so that we could catch our movie up at Gatway at 6:30! We saw 17 Miracles. It was about the saints that treked to Zion and it was an amazing movie. So moving and spiritual! I got out of that movie feeling so selfish and just spoiled! I take so many amazing things that were given to me for granted. We were in a spiritual mood so instead of dinner we decided to go to Temple Square and walk around! It was such a fun night! Haha so I know that no boys read this blog accept for Jason but he already knows this so Im telling it. Hahah so I started my red dot yesterday morning, and on our way back from salt lake I started leaking! It was so bad Katie pulled into the Maverik for me but when I ran into the bathroom I realized it was the Mens Restroom! Right there in big letters it said it! Hahah I hurried into the Ladies ha but I could help but just laugh at myself! Haha
xoxo

In my FAVORITE building :)

Clint Black Concert 2011

Well on Saturday the whole family went to go see Clint Black play at the ampitheater in Saratoga Springs for the Pony Express Day! We go every year and every year is a different musician. This year the concert was by far the worst, but it was still a blast non the less. The only thing that sucked was everyone had their signifigant other! Next year Jason will be there! Mark my words! He will not miss 3 of those concerts! Haha at one point during the night I started tickeling waylon so bad I thought he would pass out haha it was hilarious. But I really so advise spending the money to go to those concerts they have the best atmosphere and you always will end up having fun!

Jessica and I always NEED a picture together! She is my best friend!

The thing I love most about this picture is that my dad is really smiling. Its just such a cute moment!

dont be stupid.

Wow, what a feeling. Thinking you could loose the most important thing in your life. That is the worst feeling other than actually loosing someone. I cant even start to explain how dumb I can be. Its crazy how I could just ruin everything if I chose to! Its so easy to do! I never ever want to know that feeling again. I never want to know what it would be like to not have Jason. Ahh. I really do think I would die. Learning the hard way is something that I am well acquainted with and I absolutely do not like it! Its like the saying you never know what you have until its gone, but twisted in some weird complicated way! I know I probably make no sense at all, but at least now I really know what is important in my life. Who really loves me with all his heart. I never realized how much he loves me. I am the most blessed woman so have such a love so strong and distinguishing in my life. Ladies, if you have the love of an incredible man, don't ever, ever let him go. I promise that he loves you if he is willing to take a few curve balls for you. Love is so complicated, and it hurts, and its fun, exciting, terrifying and simply incredible. Including all the pain, tears, bumps and scratches that you get along the way. I have a new appreciation for being loved by someone. There is nothing in the world more important to me.

I found mine and Jason's new song... for now :))

"Its about your heart."
By: Mindy Gledhill

I don't mind your odd behavior
It's the very thing I love
If you were an ice cream flavor
You would be my favorite one
My imagination sees you
Like a painting by Van Gogh
Starry nights and bright sunflowers
Follow you where you may go
Oh, I've loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It's not about your scars
It's all about your heart
You're a butterfly held captive
Small and safe in your cocoon
Go on you can take your time
Time is said to heal all wounds
Chorus
Like a lock without a key
Like a mystery without a clue
There is no me if I cannot have you
Chorus
Jessica and I are actually going to see her (Minday Gledhill) in concert on June 3rd for FREE! We are so excited! We have been listening to all her songs lately and she is surprisingly so good!! Thanks Katie for showing her to me! I think that I can officially say that I will be addicted to her for the next month! :)

P.S. The song lyrics above..are the first song that plays on my blogger playlist! :)

A Sticky Situation!

Haha I always have some hilarous story to tell after spend a day driving around with Melissa! We were on our way home from the mall and wedding dress shopping and we had went and gotten two HUGE snow cones! We each got rasberry so the syrup was dark red! As we were pulling away from the snow shack Melissa all of sudden yells "Hold this! Hold this!" haha before I could even turn my head she was shoving her HUGE snow cone right at mine and BAM! All over the car door! She was just trying to grab the wheel so she didnt hit a curb but when she shoved that snow cone towards me she might as well have been punching it with all her force! Haha it was so funny we were laughing the rest of the way home! :))

one week down.. ten to go

I've made it one week! Sheesh it feels like it has been so much longer! I'm excited that he will be home for a week in the beginning of July! It's a good half way point! there is only 5 weeks until then! Although I do KNOW that I need distractions. I have been thinking of hobbies that I can do after work to keep my mind and my hands busy while he is gone and I have it! I am going to make a quilt! A QUILT! I have never been to great at sewing but I have plenty of time to make it perfect! I have a few patterns in mind but this is the one that I have my eye on.. keep in mind that the colors may change completely since I have yet to go fabric shopping! I love making blankets! I made a fleece one for Jason two Christmas's ago and he loves it so I think a quilt will be super adorable to try! Growing up, in my house we never had enough comfy blankets so I am going to try and just make and make tons of blankets to keep forever! If any of you have any ideas for them make sure to tell me!

Fiesta ala Katie and Tabitha :))

Katie and I planned a Fiesta Party for Cinco De Mayo this year as kind of a going away party for Jason. It turned out so cute! We literally spent about two weeks planning it and getting everything in order. It was a complete success. We are planning a movie party outside the week that Jason will be home in July so stay tuned!

It amazes me how mexican they really did look with their stashes haha

This is what a real "MEXICAN MAN KISS" is in Jasons head.

You dont see me complaining haha I love this picture!

(note the cute decor!)

Cheers to the party planners! :)

Jasons face in this kills me haha it shows a peek at all their personalities!

All the boys :))

what the?

I wish I had a handbook for my life, something to reassure me where I'm going and if I'm going to be okay. I feel as if I am going no where. Every single person in my life is having some life altering event happening, and I am just sitting here, trying to figure out my next move. School starts in the fall sure, but thats not exactly the type of adventure I really want to sink my feet into. Jason is what I want. My boyfriend hundreds of miles away, and I feel as though all I am is a big ball of panic. (I have just got to be worring him with all the stuff I'm stressing about hahaha.) I dont know what to do or where to go from here. I wish Jason could just notice that I am just so willing to give him everything I am possibly am. Actually, I am sure he does know it, I just wish that it would hit him a little closer to home. I wish he was here. I would give up everything I have to just have him here... and he hasnt even been gone a week yet. Thats horrible. Its just so hard to function with half of you missing! I know that all of you girls with your significant other know exactly what I'm talking about. Mmhmm. I knew you did. Sheesh this is going to be a long summer. On the up side of things, Nicole is PREGNANT! And Waylon and Melissa are engaged, and Buckley is going on a mission!! See where I feel as though I am not getting anything accomplished? haha sorry for all the blah blah blah but writing always makes we feel just a tiny bit better. XOXO

Down to 14 days left, and 1 summer to go.

Well, this is it. The big 2 weeks left. I know this will make us stronger, its just the whole summer? I cant wait for that week in July that he will be here. What a good half way mark! Plus he is going to be flying me out there for my birthday this year! Or at least thats the plan! I can actually feel it coming again. Like a freaking black plague here to try and haunt me all summer! Psh! I wont let that happen! Although if Nicole were here she would make this summer so much more enjoyable and it would go by quicker! Its okay though! Katie and I have plenty of plans! She just got a cruiser for Easter from David so now we are going to be riding our bikes everywhere all summer! That will be fun! :) Oh and we are going to make jam! FREEZER JAM! mmmmm:)) yummmy! Speaking of which! Our Fiesta is in 6 days!! Ahh! Its coming up! It is going to be off the hook! I will definitely be taking a ton a pictures!! :)

Jason just thinks he is so funny!

So we were over at Dave and Katie's the other night dyeing easter eggs and Jason pointed to one of the cups and asked me to take the egg inside of it out. As I did it was clear what he had written on it.. "Will U Marry Me?" hahaha what a little jokester eh? Yeah I knew he was joking so I was just like oh you think you are so funny! Then he said "Yeah but now if I keep teasing you you wont believe me and the time I actually do propose you wont even believe me until I'm on one knee!" That line right there made up for all his teasing! :)

mmhmm:)

Well, this is like a journal, so I will say whatever I want on here! First off let me start off by saying how much I freaking love that man? Jason is absolutely perfect for me in like every way! It still, after 2 years! BLOWS MY MIND. I never thought I could love another person this much! What an incredible blessing! Ahh! We are going on a date tomorrow night! I cant wait! I have barely seen him for the past 2 weeks so when we have seen each other its like that amazing feeling that you get when you really realize you cant live with out that person. I had this really crappy morning and all I wanted to do was to see him(of course he was sleeping cause he worked all night.) But when I got there and gave him a hug, I just felt so at peace.  Just knowing that he was all I needed caused me to get all emotional hahaha.  I must be rambling. It was just a great feeling to know that he is all I will ever need. Its incredible. I cant believe I have been so blessed. Anywho, I know I really need to take more current pictures so I will try to remember tomorrow! :)
Goodnight.

Almost another amazing landmark together:)

Well, on July 20th, it will be mine and Jason's 2 year anniversary! (Which coincidentally happens to be my sisters birthday. Go figure!) I cant believe we have made it this far baby! You are my light :) I cant wait to re create this picture every year!

THE BEST FRIEND IS HERE!!

Well, Presha has been staying with me for the past week because her husband is up in Idaho training for Vivent. I wish I had some pictures to show of how much fun we are having together! Even with little baby Brooklynn attached at Presha's hip it still feels as though nothing has changed since she moved out, got married, had a baby. haha so much has happened!! How exciting for her though! We have been everywhere in the past week! It has been a fun kind of hectic :) I am sad that she leaves in two days! We decided to start a book club, if you're interested in joining let me know! Its a good way to stay connected with each other all summer! Our book for April is THE SHINING! OHHH! Scaryyy! haha (Inspired by that famous friends episode where Joey is reading it and gets so scared he put the book in the freezer hahahaha!) Well. I will try to take some pictures tomorrow! BUT. No promises!

VENTING. SORRY. I NEED IT. BAD.

Well, Presha you taught me that when I'm frustrated to write, and this is kinda the same concept. Okay, not going to lie, I want that boy to marry me already! I know I'm 18, and we wont end up getting married for quite a while but let me tell you, it still just sucks just wanting to be with someone completely in like every way all the time and you can't. Its... stressful. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like he will never ask me. Which I know is irrational, but just because it is doesn't mean feeling like this is avoidable. I wish it were because I know he will. I know he wants to. I know that if we got married right now things would be just a mess, and that freaks him out so much. Why doesn't it scare me? I feel like having a mess of a life would be okay as long as he is there. I just feel like I'm going nowhere. I want to progress, move forward with my life, get the best part started. I feel so behind. IRRATIONAL! Why do I feel this way when I know its absurd?! Why do I have to be so impatient! Because I just love him so much! Its a very insecure, rickety feeling. I think thats why I'm just in a hurry. I want to feel stable and he seems to be one of the very few things in my life that is constant. I don't want to loose that. He really loves me, and I really love him. That will be enough forever, thats what helps me get over all this, just knowing that he is there with me, freaking out right by my side ha ha. Sorry for the ventilation session! I feel much better now. :)